(no subject)

It's my Grandma and Poppy's wedding anniversary today. My mum made us promise to call them, as apparently she's called them for it every year, even one year when they forgot, and mum'll be on a plane on her way to Nashville.

Grandma was as bouyant as ever, and as likely-to-talk-your-ear-off as ever (hmm, wonder where I get it from?). Both my grandmas have heart problems at the moment; my paternal grandma (Nannie) is going in for a triple bypass shortly. No problems there, she's well off and can pay for it. Grandma and Pop are dirt poor. Grandma's going in for a quintuple bypass in July.

She started talking about mum's trip, and how she's glad her operation's in July so mum wouldn't cancel it. Mum's been talking about going overseas for years. Grandma was talking in a very calm, cheerful voice about how life was for the living, and how she thought it would have been stupid if mum cancelled her trip just to be with her mother for one final time.

It was so hard not to cry over the phone.

Completely spoilery post, because if I don't write something, I'm going to burst.

( Order of the Phoenix - as yet unfinished. Only posted here because no one's online. )

Someonegetonlineplease. Someone who's read it.

Also, I think I was just accidentally spoiled for who'd going to die. I'm going to cry.

(no subject)

It's finished.

( The vaguest of spoilers. No specificities on who dies. )

I'm sick of everyone hating the HP fandom, as well. I understand it's frustrating when you don't like something and everyone's going on about it. It's irritating. This is not to call you to task, but just to explain my feelings.

I'm always too fucking sensitive. There's a damn good reason why I avoid wearing my heart on my sleeve. Why I practise shutting away my feelings in a small box deep inside where no one can reach. It's pointless letting people try to comfort you when it doesn't work. All that works is going off by myself and letting it all out. Crying. Whatever.

I'm sick of being the subject of everyone's hatred because I enjoy reading these books (which, after OOTP, I doubt anyone would classify as children's literature any more than someone would classify Lord of the Flies as children's literature - and their impression of human nature seems to be about the same). I know you hate them, and I'm sorry. I really enjoy the fandom, much more than the books... which, let's fact it, I probably would have lost interest in ages ago if it weren't for the fanfic writers who make me think, and give me new views of the characters. Who entertain me. Who are engaging and witty people who frequently share similar views to mine.

I'm sick of feeling vaguely guilty any time I use one of my HP-themed icons to reply to someone I know actively dislikes HP. I'm sick of feeling bad every time I post or talk about this fandom that entertains me.

Before you start your indignant comments, or remove me from your friends list, you can rest assured that it's unlikely I'll write much more about Harry Potter in this journal, at least for the near future. Yes, I've written a fair bit about it over this weekend, but this is because the new book came out. This was a pretty major event.

I just don't think I can cope anymore. I love the fandom denizens, but hate the fandom. I don't want to read any more about Harry Potter and his universe for at least the forseeable future. This book has taken all the joy I had.

So rejoice, those of you who are sick about reading it on my journal. Now I just have to worry about creating some new icons.

Fuck it.


This post may seem fragmented, but that's because it's been done in several attempts.