(no subject)

[changeling]

So.

Relic is opening this week (on Thursday to be exact), and I'm starting to get terrified. Worse, I'm starting to seriously doubt by performance abilities. I hate myself for this...

For example, yesterday our producer showed up and watched the last few scenes, the ones I don't know as well and hence don't like. I saw the producer last year in Caroline's last play, Nonsense on Paper, and so I got all self-conscious and decided that she was judging me, being a brilliant actor herself.

You have been weighed. You have been measured. And you have been found wanting.

I hate these stupid paranoias. The worst thing is that while my conscious mind can recognise them for what they are, I can't stop feeling them.

I'm on a Mac at uni. Macs are not my favourite computers generally speaking because I'm not as familiar with them as I am Windows based PCs. I do like iMacs, though. They're funky.

Uni Macs are especially evil because they're old. This particular one is apparently a Power Macintosh G3. Don't know how old it actually is, but computers age quickly in computer labs. At least they're newer than the Macs I had to use at school in year 9. Most of them were those tiny, ancient boxy ones, the little rectangularly shaped ones; the oldest sort of Mac I've ever come across, I think. If you were lucky you got a slightly newer one, but there were only about 5 or 6 newer ones, and I never seemed to get one.

I slept in today. At least I have an excuse, unlike Liam. *smiles* My alarm clock didn't go off again. I'm really getting sick of this. I'm going to buy a new one. I woke up of my own volition at about 8.30, after about four and a half hours of sleep, but seeing as I didn't need to get up for another half an hour, I went back to sleep. And my alarm never went off. Grrrr. I missed another King Arthur tute because of that.

Anyway, Nat and I are going to head into the city to buy me an alarm clock. Toodles...

Note to self: links within the site should link back to main.html, not indexy2.html. Make sure you fix that tonight..

Comments

[frzn-mmnt.livejournal.com]

The PowerMac G3 came out last year.

[shinyandnat.livejournal.com]

These ones so didn't... they're like as old as the ones I used in Year 8.

Nearly anyway.

[delirieuse.livejournal.com]

I'm with Nat; these Macs are *so* not a year old. I'd say at least two.

[deethie.livejournal.com]

(I'm support-o-gal) I'm sure you will be great and btw, I'm very impressed that you can even be in a play because I so, so couldn't do that.

Anyway, break a leg, (am I really supposed to say that??) and don't worry about self-doubt too much, it stops one becoming an arrogant prick :).

d

[delirieuse.livejournal.com]

Thanks for the vote of confidence. :)

Yeh, this was just evil self-paranoia. Self-doubt is one's friend. :)

And yes, break a leg is the correct phrase. "Chookas" (not completely sure of spelling) is alternative.

[nys.livejournal.com]

Why not just use your phone alarm?
It even has snooze. Though kinda annoying that it increases in volume. You lie in bed thinking, "aaaah... you can't beat me alarm, i can sleep through rather than leaning over to turn you off." At the start it's just an innocent Beep Beep beep. When it starts going BEEEEEEEEEEP BEEEEEEEEEEP BEEEEEEEEEEEEP BEEEEEEEEEEEEP it gets slightly annoying.

[delirieuse.livejournal.com]

I don't know why I don't use my phone alarm. *shrugs* Because that would be intelligent, I suspect. :)

*hugz*

[venusrose.livejournal.com]

I know you probably think that your too nervous... but its better than not being nervous at all. You'll probably be better off for a little apprehension... as for the self-doubt *hugz* it'll pass... we all know you are brilliant, and so do you! Just have fun performing, thats what its for :-)

Re: *hugz*

[delirieuse.livejournal.com]

There's a difference between being nervous and being paranoid that you're shit and everyone's laughing at you...the first is healthy, the second is not. I seemed to have gotten over it a bit tonight, so here's hoping for the performances. :)

Re: *hugz*

[venusrose.livejournal.com]

Oh, I see... well at least your getting over it!

[gadge.livejournal.com]

Good luck! Keep pimping the play in your Journal, and I may even pull myself out of this gunk funk and try to make it there. Love to see it, after all...

[delirieuse.livejournal.com]

It'd be great if you could turn up for two reasons: first, because it'd make me happy, and second because it means that with any luck you'll be feeling better than you do currently. :)

It's on 23rd-25th (I think) and 28th-1st June. *smiles sweetly*

Nat says she thinks it's going to be a very quiet class tomorrow night: neither you nor I will be there. (I'm presuming you're not going to be there...)

Re:

[gadge.livejournal.com]

Ack. Ack. Ack.

Translated: Snowball in hell, my friend, that I'll turn up tonight. Snowball in hell.

[delirieuse.livejournal.com]

That's what I presumed, but I didn't want to be presumptuous. *grins*

[shinyandnat.livejournal.com]

*snickers* Class was rather quiet without you and Dani. Sarah did alot of the talking, and she's nowhere near as interesting and fun as you two have a tendancy to be.