Heeeere bandwagon...
Jan. 12th, 2002 02:12 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
changelingTHE VERY SECRET DIARY OF PEREGRIN
(Apologies to Cassandra Claire and JRR Tolkein, but not to Laim)
Day One:
Found out alcohol comes in pints. Feeling a bit squiffy. Think Merri tried to cop a feel when helping me up from the floor.
Day Two:
Sam sulking because tall, dark handsome man now in contest with him for Frodo's affections. Think I worked out why he's called Strider.
Day Three:
Frodo stabbed by Morgul Blade. Worried that this will alter the sexual dynamics of the group. Jealous that Frodo gets all the action. Wonder if Merri would pay more attention to me if I got stabbed by a Morgul Blade?
Day Six:
Sam seems to be spending inordinate amount of time in bath-house with unconscious Frodo. Merri buggered off, following Strider around like puppy dog. V. jealous. Wonder if he would like me more if I was unconscious?
Day Seven:
Think Elrond was trying to be impressive during secret meeting. Just looked like he swallowed a large whelk, though. We leave tomorrow for secret & important adventure, which means more time with Merri. Huzzah!
Day Eight:
Weapons training with Boromir. Think I caught him perving on Merri. Kicked him in the nadgers.
Day Nine:
Unpleasant time tramping through mountains. Concerned about the close proximity of certain body parts to cold wet snow. Boromir & Aragorn had tussle over affections of Frodo. Wonder why he's so popular? Possibly due to magic ring.
Day Ten:
Party was attacked by large tentacled monster. Legolas managed to help fend it off, while still maintaining his suave demeanor. I'm sure I saw Aragorn checking him out. Boromir will be jealous. Think he only wants ring so Aragorn will pay him attention. Wonder if Merri would like me more if I had a ring?
Day Eleven:
Stupid dark dwarf city thing. Can't see hand in front of face half the time, and suspect Aragorn is toying with affections of Merri while I can't see. Stupid Strider.
Day Twelve:
Gandalf fell to fiery death without so much as saying goodbye, or cooking some tomatoes for us. Mines of Moria still dark, but suspect Gimli trying to snog Merri. Stupid dwarf.
Day Thirteen:
Lothlorien. Decided to move on with my life and get over Merri. Wonder if Gimli's single? Think Aragorn tried to chat up Galadriel. Failed miserably. Think if he tries that again, he'll have to carry his teeth home in a prophetic pool. Or something.
Day Fourteen:
Gimli seasick, Merri and I friends again. Huzzah! Got to sit in his lap while paddling boat.
Day Fifteen:
Boromir dead. Aragorn kissed him before he died. Think Aragorn would sleep with anything that moves. Merri and I captured by orcs. Bad situation. On the up side, Gimli left behind. Frodo buggered off in our hour of need. Sam will be furious.
(Apologies to Cassandra Claire and JRR Tolkein, but not to Laim)
Day One:
Found out alcohol comes in pints. Feeling a bit squiffy. Think Merri tried to cop a feel when helping me up from the floor.
Day Two:
Sam sulking because tall, dark handsome man now in contest with him for Frodo's affections. Think I worked out why he's called Strider.
Day Three:
Frodo stabbed by Morgul Blade. Worried that this will alter the sexual dynamics of the group. Jealous that Frodo gets all the action. Wonder if Merri would pay more attention to me if I got stabbed by a Morgul Blade?
Day Six:
Sam seems to be spending inordinate amount of time in bath-house with unconscious Frodo. Merri buggered off, following Strider around like puppy dog. V. jealous. Wonder if he would like me more if I was unconscious?
Day Seven:
Think Elrond was trying to be impressive during secret meeting. Just looked like he swallowed a large whelk, though. We leave tomorrow for secret & important adventure, which means more time with Merri. Huzzah!
Day Eight:
Weapons training with Boromir. Think I caught him perving on Merri. Kicked him in the nadgers.
Day Nine:
Unpleasant time tramping through mountains. Concerned about the close proximity of certain body parts to cold wet snow. Boromir & Aragorn had tussle over affections of Frodo. Wonder why he's so popular? Possibly due to magic ring.
Day Ten:
Party was attacked by large tentacled monster. Legolas managed to help fend it off, while still maintaining his suave demeanor. I'm sure I saw Aragorn checking him out. Boromir will be jealous. Think he only wants ring so Aragorn will pay him attention. Wonder if Merri would like me more if I had a ring?
Day Eleven:
Stupid dark dwarf city thing. Can't see hand in front of face half the time, and suspect Aragorn is toying with affections of Merri while I can't see. Stupid Strider.
Day Twelve:
Gandalf fell to fiery death without so much as saying goodbye, or cooking some tomatoes for us. Mines of Moria still dark, but suspect Gimli trying to snog Merri. Stupid dwarf.
Day Thirteen:
Lothlorien. Decided to move on with my life and get over Merri. Wonder if Gimli's single? Think Aragorn tried to chat up Galadriel. Failed miserably. Think if he tries that again, he'll have to carry his teeth home in a prophetic pool. Or something.
Day Fourteen:
Gimli seasick, Merri and I friends again. Huzzah! Got to sit in his lap while paddling boat.
Day Fifteen:
Boromir dead. Aragorn kissed him before he died. Think Aragorn would sleep with anything that moves. Merri and I captured by orcs. Bad situation. On the up side, Gimli left behind. Frodo buggered off in our hour of need. Sam will be furious.
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Date: 2002-01-12 06:32 am (UTC)*snorfles*
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Re: *snorfles*
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