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changelingSTUPID BLOODY BOLLOCKSING JKR FOR MAKING THREE MAIN CHARACTERS WHOSE NAMES END IN "S". It plays merry hell with possessive apostrophes.
Leprosy's A Boy's Best Friend.
A silly get-well ficlet for Copperbadge. MWPP era.
"Eeek!"
Gryffindor common room was somewhat startled to hear a girlish screech issue forth from the lungs of Sirius Black. That is to say, the handful of students lounging in the common room were surprised; the common room had seen a lot of strange things in its time, and wasn't going to be startled by a mere shriek.
"What is it, Black?" drawled James, not looking up from the card game he was playing with Peter. "See a mouse, did you?"
"No," said Sirius, glaring at the back of James's head. "Remus has some sort of horrible disease."
"I do not," protested Remus, blushing an interesting shade of mauve.
James lowered his hand and twisted around to look curiously at the pair. "Really? Has he been growing horns, or turning purple, or having limbs turn invisible or something?"
Peter, who was peering at James's cards while his back turned, added, "That could be entertaining. Any way of giving it to Snape, perhaps?"
"NO!" said Remus quickly. His face, having conquered mauve, was making a march on magenta.
"He's got leprosy," said Sirius. "It could be catching. Even fatal."
"It isn't," said Remus.
"If your arm drops off, Moony, make sure it falls in Snape's cauldron," said James turning back to the game and putting a card on the discard pile. "Terrible waste of a limb, otherwise."
"I haven't got leprosy," said Remus crossly. "It's just a rash. I must have brushed up against something in Herbology. I have an ointment for it."
"Pity," said James, losing interest quickly and discarding another card. "It would have been quite entertaining to see Snape lose his head. Or an arm. Do you think you could catch leprosy, Moony, and give it to Snape?"
"I am not going to catch leprosy," said Remus coldly. "Not even to give it to Snape."
"The trouble with you is you have no sense of duty," said Sirius from a safe distance of several feet. "You need to put the common cause above your own petty needs. Noblesse oblige, and that sort of thing."
"Bollocks to that," said Remus. "You're more nobbly than me. You do it."
"I couldn't possibly," said Sirius smoothly. "My limbs are far too handsome to be strewn around the Potions classroom like that."
Peter gave a cynical bark of laughter, but Remus caught the smirk on Sirius's face and wisely decided to drop the subject. For the time being, anyway.
A/N: Yes, I know the end is stupid, but it This was supposed to be a ficlet and it was going went on longer than I planned. I think it wanted to be a longer story, and frankly I don't have the patience. So let's just pretend that it ends abruptly to create mystery. Can you guess the subtle signals Sirius is sending Remus? Yeah, they're going to raid the Slytherin Common Room tonight, and put curses on all the furniture. What do you mean, teh hot sexxor? It's all about the curses, I'm telling you.
[Edited six months later to add: Don't you just hate the "A/N" preceeding comments? It just screams, I AM A BADFIC WRITER. DO NOT READ MY WORKS, OR YOUR EYES SHALL MELT, AND YOUR BRAIN SHALL BLEED.]
Leprosy's A Boy's Best Friend.
A silly get-well ficlet for Copperbadge. MWPP era.
"Eeek!"
Gryffindor common room was somewhat startled to hear a girlish screech issue forth from the lungs of Sirius Black. That is to say, the handful of students lounging in the common room were surprised; the common room had seen a lot of strange things in its time, and wasn't going to be startled by a mere shriek.
"What is it, Black?" drawled James, not looking up from the card game he was playing with Peter. "See a mouse, did you?"
"No," said Sirius, glaring at the back of James's head. "Remus has some sort of horrible disease."
"I do not," protested Remus, blushing an interesting shade of mauve.
James lowered his hand and twisted around to look curiously at the pair. "Really? Has he been growing horns, or turning purple, or having limbs turn invisible or something?"
Peter, who was peering at James's cards while his back turned, added, "That could be entertaining. Any way of giving it to Snape, perhaps?"
"NO!" said Remus quickly. His face, having conquered mauve, was making a march on magenta.
"He's got leprosy," said Sirius. "It could be catching. Even fatal."
"It isn't," said Remus.
"If your arm drops off, Moony, make sure it falls in Snape's cauldron," said James turning back to the game and putting a card on the discard pile. "Terrible waste of a limb, otherwise."
"I haven't got leprosy," said Remus crossly. "It's just a rash. I must have brushed up against something in Herbology. I have an ointment for it."
"Pity," said James, losing interest quickly and discarding another card. "It would have been quite entertaining to see Snape lose his head. Or an arm. Do you think you could catch leprosy, Moony, and give it to Snape?"
"I am not going to catch leprosy," said Remus coldly. "Not even to give it to Snape."
"The trouble with you is you have no sense of duty," said Sirius from a safe distance of several feet. "You need to put the common cause above your own petty needs. Noblesse oblige, and that sort of thing."
"Bollocks to that," said Remus. "You're more nobbly than me. You do it."
"I couldn't possibly," said Sirius smoothly. "My limbs are far too handsome to be strewn around the Potions classroom like that."
Peter gave a cynical bark of laughter, but Remus caught the smirk on Sirius's face and wisely decided to drop the subject. For the time being, anyway.
[Edited six months later to add: Don't you just hate the "A/N" preceeding comments? It just screams, I AM A BADFIC WRITER. DO NOT READ MY WORKS, OR YOUR EYES SHALL MELT, AND YOUR BRAIN SHALL BLEED.]
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Date: 2003-12-22 09:12 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2003-12-22 10:30 am (UTC)