Dear writer,

[changeling]

The best thing you can do with your submission to a publisher is to put page numbers at the bottom. Especially when your book is over 180 pages, not including prelims and multiple copies of the front page.

Printing it in a sensible, easy-to-read font like Times or Courier are also helpful, especially if an editor is going to have to spend many, many hours working on it. Fonts like Papyrus don't always have full symbol sets, and may do wonky things to the spacing between letters.

Printing it out in black, with no fussy page border is also favourite. Lilac is really not the best colour for your Ms. Trust me on this.

Yours,
An Editor.

Comments

[burningskyfire.livejournal.com]

...lilac? ...papyrus? *head implodes* Poor you!

[apiphile.livejournal.com]

Do people not read submissions guidelines in those handy "how to write a fucking novel, fuckhead" books? I knew all this stuff by the time I was 16!

[delirieuse.livejournal.com]

I'm not sure this woman's ever read a "how to write a novel" book. This is an advice/information book for teenage girls. With trite poems copy-pasted from email forwards.

[apiphile.livejournal.com]

... would you be so good as to send a letter bomb to the return address? I don't want people who write things like that living on my planet.

[ignited-spark.livejournal.com]

I can't believe so many people still do this, given how many editors I've heard griping about it in periodicals and submissions guidelines and whatnot. And I know some editors just trash manuscripts like that without bothering to read them, too.

[watersusurrus.livejournal.com]

This is a vanity press, so this person is *paying* to have delirieuse fix it.

I hope she posts some excerpts about it, because it's hysterical.

[ignited-spark.livejournal.com]

I hope she posts some excerpts about it, because it's hysterical.

I'm assuming this means "unintentionally hysterical"?

[watersusurrus.livejournal.com]

Oh yes. It's about teenage girls and it's called Tender Moments. I am waiting with glee to read the "Gay/Lesbian and Bisexual" chapter.

[ignited-spark.livejournal.com]

Oh, gods. I am filled with dread! :D

[delirieuse.livejournal.com]

As Steph said, this is essentially a vanity press, so the Ms wasn't trashed as it might have been at, say, Allen & Unwin or Penguin. Alas.

I could've coped with the rest if I hadn't had to spend nearly an hour numbering the damn pages.

[tycho.livejournal.com]

... The images of the submission are making my head hurt. -_-;

I believe burning the submission and "author" would be an excellent activity. Fun for the whole family!