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changelingApparently, S---- and I are the only people in the world who didn't like the new The Lion, The Witch and the Wardrobe.
Here are my impressions:
OMG DULL.
Where was my Edmund bespelling? And his internal conflict?
That's not a Stone Table, that's a Stone Podium.
*cries* Why isn't Tilda being awesome? She's just being blah! WTF is wrong with the script??
Since when is Tumnus in jail? Why would the WW do that, when she can save wear and tear on jail cells, not to mention fewer bills for stale bread and water when she can justcrucio be-stone him?
Lucy's too fond of the delightedly surprised expression. Nothing you say can make that better.
I love how Peter can stave off the WW in a sword fight, when he only picked up his sword two minutes ago. How crap is she?
Why isn't the WW attempting to kill Edmund with her knife before he's rescued? How ineffectual.
What was up with the extended hide-and-seek/cricket sequences when it was actually all about the OMGHIDEFROMTHEVISITORS-Stately Homes of England type doohickey? Wouldn't that have made the whole thing faster?
Oh, look! It's the fighting bit from The Two Towers! Any minute now, Aslan will appear over the ridge on a white horse, backlit.
I seem to recall Lucy and Susan being more useful in the battle scene. Not much, given Lewis's belief in the Place of Women, but some. Lucy's supposed to be a regular Florence Nightingale, but without the sewers.
I should hope that Susan wouldn't miss, particularly at that range.
Where was the children's hypothermia after the dip in that river???
I wish Mr Beaver was a furry hat, too.
THE END.
Oh - and I'm especially disappointed, because I actually liked the trailers I saw. Sadly, I spent the latter half wishing it were over because I was bored. I almost want to try to watch it again to see if I can work out what all the fuss is about, but I'm not that rich. Perhaps when it comes out on DVD. Meanwhile, as everyone who speaks to me knows by now, I want to watch the BBC version again, with all its crappy animated flying skulls.
Here are my impressions:
OMG DULL.
Where was my Edmund bespelling? And his internal conflict?
That's not a Stone Table, that's a Stone Podium.
*cries* Why isn't Tilda being awesome? She's just being blah! WTF is wrong with the script??
Since when is Tumnus in jail? Why would the WW do that, when she can save wear and tear on jail cells, not to mention fewer bills for stale bread and water when she can just
Lucy's too fond of the delightedly surprised expression. Nothing you say can make that better.
I love how Peter can stave off the WW in a sword fight, when he only picked up his sword two minutes ago. How crap is she?
Why isn't the WW attempting to kill Edmund with her knife before he's rescued? How ineffectual.
What was up with the extended hide-and-seek/cricket sequences when it was actually all about the OMGHIDEFROMTHEVISITORS-Stately Homes of England type doohickey? Wouldn't that have made the whole thing faster?
Oh, look! It's the fighting bit from The Two Towers! Any minute now, Aslan will appear over the ridge on a white horse, backlit.
I seem to recall Lucy and Susan being more useful in the battle scene. Not much, given Lewis's belief in the Place of Women, but some. Lucy's supposed to be a regular Florence Nightingale, but without the sewers.
I should hope that Susan wouldn't miss, particularly at that range.
Where was the children's hypothermia after the dip in that river???
I wish Mr Beaver was a furry hat, too.
THE END.
Oh - and I'm especially disappointed, because I actually liked the trailers I saw. Sadly, I spent the latter half wishing it were over because I was bored. I almost want to try to watch it again to see if I can work out what all the fuss is about, but I'm not that rich. Perhaps when it comes out on DVD. Meanwhile, as everyone who speaks to me knows by now, I want to watch the BBC version again, with all its crappy animated flying skulls.
