Amusing misreadings; grammar rantage; gay pride; problems with the car and finance.

[changeling]

This seems to be phrased badly.
Pipe smokers using four or fewer bowls of tobacco per day had a lower mortality ratio than non-smokers - meaning the death rate was less for occasional pipe smokers than for the general population. (source)
*gasp* You mean that if I take up pipesmoking, I MAY NEVER DIE??

A note on spelling & typesetting.
It's CLICHÉ, NOT CLICHE'. Similarly, it's café, not cafe'. It's better you leave the acute accent off than insert an apostrophe where one is not needed.

In which I suddenly start crying.
I hate that we have gay pride. I hate that we have to have gay pride, because we are, as a group, almost universally reviled and hated. I wish that gay pride was unnecessary, the way I don't have "brown-hair pride".

I hate that every time I kiss my girlfriend on public transport, I look around surreptitiously to see people's reactions. And that I'm nervous of doing it on our evening train in case someone follows us.

The part with the car.
I was supposed to get my car back today. I put it in yesterday to get a cracked gasket fixed. Thing is ...
... it's not the gasket. It's the piston or something - I forget what. and now it's going to cost me $900. I don't know where I'm supposed to get the money to pay Dad back. I just ... I'm sick of never having any money. Any time I splurge, buy something for me (I bought myself a comic book today - the second for this year), the universe kicks me in the teeth. It's as if there's a force that just wants me to get the message: You're not allowed to spend money. Any money you earn is not yours. Do not spend it on frivolities. Or books. Especially not books. I'm sick of this. I'm sick of never having any money. It's not as though I've even tried to replace my little personal stereo since that broke. I'm fucking sick of having no money.

I wish I could sell prints or something like Sandra did, but I don't draw that well, and no-one would want to buy them. I have no marketable skills. I don't crochet, or knit, or cross-stitch. Hell, I got RSI from trying to knit a scarf last year (or was it the year before?) And it's not as though I can get more work - my workplace doesn't work like that. It's my 7 1/2 hours per week, or it's nothing. I'll be working an extra eight hours per week at a publisher next semester for work experience, but I'm not being paid. I just wish I could do something to earn some money. My sister tutors high school students in maths. She seems to make a reasonable amount.

I mean, I'd like to have some decent office clothes. I'd like to buy more than the one item of clothing I've bought this year (and last year? I certainly don't remember buying any clothing last year) - and that was discounted. I'm fucking sick of being poor. Just an extra bit of money here and there would make all the difference. Fuck.

I hate having friends shout me because I can't really justify buying myself a hot chocolate, or a meal. I hate that I can't shout them in return.

I hate that every time I have a little extra saved up, and I think, "Maybe I'll finally be able to buy a new bra! I can't remember how long ago I last had a new bra! Three or four years at least!", something like this car business shows up and kicks me in the teeth. I can't even spend my tax return on new clothes: it'll be going to re-registering & insuring my car, and even then it won't cover costs.

Mostly, I really, really hate the fact that I'm crying over this.

Comments

[apiphile.livejournal.com]

Suggestion: English tutoring, proof-reading essays and what-not. It doesn't earn much, but it does *help*.

Also, *hug*. And:

It's as if there's a force that just wants me to get the message: You're not allowed to spend money. Any money you earn is not yours. Do not spend it on frivolities. Or books. Especially not books. I'm sick of this. I'm sick of never having any money.

Snap. :(

[delirieuse.livejournal.com]

I've no idea how to go about that. RMIT doesn't have the same organisation that my sister's did in that regard. She just put her name down with some student union service (or something) and people keep ringing her.

Thank you.

Yeah. It fucking sucks.

[apiphile.livejournal.com]

Never underestimate the awesome power of pinning notices up on notice boards - there were quite a few at MDX who put up their phone-numbers and declared themselves open for tutoring Spanish or Italian or whatever their first language happened to be and managed to earn a reasonable amount doing it.

[delirieuse.livejournal.com]

*nods* Except RMIT's all decentralised, and my building is host to a billion editing students. I'll have to search around the main cluster of buildings to see where to put something up.

[serizawa3000.livejournal.com]

One of my friends from a while back (if I could make contact with him we'd prolly be friends again; as it were, i've no idea where he is now) smoked a pipe on occasion. One of those Sherlock Holmes numbers. Aren't you talking about no filters whatsoever? And oh, I hate to say it, but the odor from a pipe is much stronger than from a ciggy... though cigars are stronger than both... and to non-smokers like me, fairly unpleasant. Which probably goes to explain why, were I to write a fan letter to Clive Barker (one of my clear-eyed role models), I'd try to ask as gently and politely as I could to reconsider his cigar habit... rumor mill even hints that he was being treated for some ailment... but it's just his voice sounds so rough now...

I've noticed now that a lot of writers I like seem to be English and/or gay, and I've started watching Queer Eye (Ted Allen, the Food & Wine guy, is my favorie. Turns out he's a writer, too, and pretty good at that), and I have been thinking about buying a Rufus Wainwright CD... there seems to be a pattern here... but... I dunno. My friend Crystal suggested that maybe I should try playing for the other team, as it were... but I like girls better than I like boys. Maybe I'm like the polar opposite of Stephen Fry: 90% straight, 10% other.

Almost ten years ago I didn't have gay friends. Not that I wasn't accepting, but there just wasn't anyone (save for one person from the drama club, but he was more an acqaintance; he was good company and a good actor) I knew who was gay. Then I was penpals with someone who wanted me to accept her bisexuality ("I ACCEPT IT ALREADY!" "No you don't!" But after a brief marriage and having a son, she's gay these days, one half of a drag king duo somwhere in Missouri)... but now I have gay friends and am pleasantly surprised by how normal it is to me...

*hugs... oh hell, have a foot massage*

[spirail.livejournal.com]

"I hate that we have to have gay pride"

i agree totally with that one... its always seemed pretty rediculous to me in that its kind of contradictory because it shouldnt really be needed. Now i just look at it as a temporary balancer until all the stupid people in the world kill each other off and you wont have to look around on the train.

But for the record... when i make out on the train, i look around too.

and when im single and longely... anyone how gets to make out in front of me on the train deserves a smiteing : P

[burningskyfire.livejournal.com]

Hrm. I don't suppose there's any way you can conceivably get rid of the car? It's just that it seems to be a lot of trouble for you, cost you a lot of money and cause you a lot of worry. Maybe when you really need to get somewhere in a car taxis would work out cheaper than registering, maintaining and refueling a car?
Then again, I've no idea. I know that would take away a lot of freedom, etc.
Also, are there any high schools in your local area? You could talk to the school administration and get permission to put up notices around the school as a tutor for year 12 students - I know that at my school there are notices around the place advertising uni students as tutors. There'd be money in that because the students' parents are willing to pay it.
*hugs* Take care.
Oh, and what about the hard cover books that you make? They must take hours and hours and I'm not sure about the materials, but I'd've paid at least $60 for the hand-made book/journal you gave me. It's beautiful and intricate and caringly made.
You could take comissions to make period clothing (each garment you make would be worth hundreds) but again, they take hours and hours.

[delirieuse.livejournal.com]

I could, but that would make travelling between mine and Steph's places much more difficult.

I hadn't thought of that. I may try that. Though I'm not sure I want to tutor some idiot year 12 on what metaphors Lord of the Flies uses.

Perhaps. I might try selling them, but I'm not sure anyone'd be interested in buying my notebooks!

[burningskyfire.livejournal.com]

Oh, and what about op-shops for business clothes? Occasionally one comes across brilliant stuff: comfortable, stylish and cheap business clothing. I got a tail-coat that fits me for $15, for example. Not that one would be particularly likely to wear a tail-coat to work. Although I did once. But that's kinda different.
Anyway uhm there are loads of skirt/jacket combinations around the place. And trousers. If you have some time sometime I'm happy to go op-shopping with you and shift through racks of dusty junk. In fact, I enjoy it lots. It's like, erh, gold fossicking! :D

[wintersonlyrose.livejournal.com]

*just offers hugs*