Fucking Fuck.

[changeling]

I am working manfully on my stupid editing assignment, but every time I look at the assignment sheet, there's something new I have to do. Currently I am trying to write an introduction to a guide to Melbourne's cafes, restaurants etc. I have:

Welcome to the first edition of Heartbeat. We’ve collected the very best of Melbourne’s heart – the CBD and Inner Suburbs. Inside you’ll find a guide to bars, cafes, restaurants, shops and attractions.

That's it. It's supposed to be 200-300 words long. What the fuck does one write for these things?

Then I have to write a fucking style sheet. Fuck.

Comments

[roshi.livejournal.com]

perhaps blab on a bit about culture, lifestyle, eating out, contemporary society and the importance of sitting around in posh bars sipping overpriced drinks whilst wearing italian leather loafers?

Seriously - talk Melbourne up a bit saying how multicultural and contemporary the city is, maybe refer to the hectic pace most people's lives have taken on today, getting back to the importance of quality over quantity. Or something. Drop a few subcultural references in there, shake well, and pour?

[delirieuse.livejournal.com]

You rock so hard.

I'll do my best. Only problem is I think my brain's gone to sleep. Woe.

[roshi.livejournal.com]

Good luck :) Wake up brain! Or, alternatively, rest of ya, go to sleep [it's what I should be doing and will be doing now-ish] and think about it in the morning.

[delirieuse.livejournal.com]

I would, except I have Writing for Young Adults at 9am. Argh!

[jolly-oddness.livejournal.com]

Say that there is an undeniable air and atmosphere of something or other floating about the streets of Melbourne and that all this wonderfulness is somehow condensed and meets together in the fabulous and brilliant coffee houses that dot the very landscape.

Only, coherently, and without the sarcasm. I think you can do it! You could always steal a quote from somewhere.

[delirieuse.livejournal.com]

Thanks! I have finished now. Hardest 200 words I ever wrote.

[jolly-oddness.livejournal.com]

I once wrote an entire essay like that. It felt like I was trying to retrieve the dieas slowly, out through my eyeballs, with hot tongs. Which sounds very horrible, but it was very close to that, you know.

So I sympathise.

[tycho.livejournal.com]

My attempt: Welcome to the first edition of Heartbeat. We’ve collected the very best of Melbourne’s heart – the CBD and Inner Suburbs. Inside you’ll find a guide to bars, cafes, restaurants, shops and attractions. This will expand upon your knowledge ( or lack thereof ) of what constitutes as bountiful feasts for the discerning palate buried within us all, and perhaps even a romantic hideaway for just the lucky partner you whisk along.

Good luck.

[delirieuse.livejournal.com]

Thanks.