The wisdom of silence

I saw a bright-yellow Hummer yesterday as I was walking home from the station. It's only the first or second I've ever seen on the roads. I wanted to take the driver out and shake him, and say, "What is WRONG with you? Not only do you purchase a fuel-guzzling car as oil reserves are starting to dwindle and prices are leaping through the roof, not to mention the fact that we're having a 37°C day in NOVEMBER for fuck's sake, but you buy a fuel-guzzling car that is THE UGLIEST FUCKING CAR I'VE EVER SEEN IN MY LIFE. It's like a shoebox on wheels! Painted yellow! What happened, did you get your aesthetic sense surgically removed at birth? Or is this revenge on the bored-looking woman sitting next to you in the passenger seat? Are you just an underperformer in the bedroom?"

But I did none of these, because it is unwise to piss off a man driving an urban tank when you are not.

Language Rantypants

I'd like to say a little something about one of my least favourite language quirks out there. Folks, meet "off of". It's a lazy construction, and it doesn't actually mean anything.

You didn't "base my project off of this idea I had". You base it ON an idea. It's like saying that your house is "based off of the ground". It isn't. It's based ON the ground. You don't sit off of a chair. You don't serve your meal off of some plates. The cat did not sit off of the mat. It's ON the chair, ON the plates, ON the mat.

Similarly, you didn't "get this off of some guy I know". You got it FROM some guy.

Prepositions. They are your friend. Don't beat them up and leave them in an alley for dead.