Old people do the darnedest things.

So my mother has asked me to help re-type in a whole lot of incident reports as their server crashed (seems to be a regular occurrence here) and they lost them all. I came across this, er, gem:

Resident stated that he was trying to urinate in bottle and fell out of bed.

Why? WHY??

On further reading, it seems as though said bottle is part of the resident's, er, night-time equipment. I think I'm relieved.