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Slightly disjointed, still works ok. £2
Jun. 10th, 2003 02:22 pmJournal a nightmare to try to update at the moment. Come Wednesday night I shall be at home, probably sleeping rather than updating, but it's a start.
I was ridiculously emotional last night, then I was sick. Liam drove me home, as Nat did not trust me to drive. Probably shouldn't have posted about falling asleep at the wheel, as now friends will never trust me again. Liam gets on perfectly well with Daharja's cat, which is irritating. The little sod only barely tolerates my presence.
Am attempting to catch up on my friends list, but am fighting a losing battle. Have at least caught up on Neil's journal, am reading my way through the backlog of Nocturne Alley, and have started Draco Veritas 13, part one.
I slept very badly last night, mostly due to the damn cat, which decided that climbing on me and whining until I woke up every half hour was a good idea. Issy also phoned me, which means that it was merely busyness which curtailed our communication over the last while, rather than the oddness that precipitated at Issy's party.
First run with sound and lighting last night. The lighting changes are ridiculously easy. I only need to move two sliders each time, which control the dimming of the previous state and the bringing up of the next one. The sound was a little more difficult, as my initial symbol for two sound effects was similar enough that I stuffed up the latter of the two sound effects every time it was used. I was not impressed.
The sound and lighting at the end of each sequence also needs me to fade out one sound effect, bring up the ambient music, and cut the lights to black dramatically, all at the same time. This is far more difficult than you might imagine, as it involves me moving six sliders on two different boards, that I sit between. If I sit facing the sound board, the lighting board is directly behind me, and vice-versa, so I must sit between the two facing neither. My first attempt to move four sliders with my left hand (the fading of one sound effect and bringing up of the ambient music) and two sliders with my right (the cutting of the lights) was an astounding failure. I need to think on this further.
Blurgh. Still feel sick, although in an enormously better mood than last night... not that that's particularly difficult. I dissolved into tears on the front steps of the theatre building, never a good thing. Sam &c only made it worse by asking what the problem was. What I really needed was to just get away and cry myself out. I am glad that Nat bullied me into not going to work today, as I kept almost-throwing up. Sometimes I wish I could just vomit and get rid of the damn suspense.
Had an enormously disturbing dream where Liam went Heathcliff on me. I was quite unsettled. When I woke up, I spent some time pondering the dream (wherein my subconscious attributed myself with more alluring qualities than I actually possess, yet without relinquishing its hold on morbidity) and the end of season 2 Buffy, where Angelus is negatively transformed by love. Liam was far scarier, as he got all violent, and snapped Nat's and Cox's necks, but you couldn't see the old Liam underneath. At least with Angelus there was the hope for redemption.
It's always interesting to examine leitmotifs within Buffy that are often also metaphors for wider societal problems - Willow's addiction to magic, for example, was a more thinly-veiled allusion to drug addiction. Angelus' madness and obsession is allusive to both the stalker mentality, and also the idea of domestic abuse, I believe. Angelus was still in love with Buffy (if you can call it that), as Buffy was to Angel (the softer side of Angelus - in love with an older and idealised form of the person in front of her). Neither was willing to let go. Buffy couldn't leave the abusive relationship - as it translates into the Buffyverse, the killing of Angelus. By the end of the season, she is able to gain the strength of character to "leave" - ie by killing Angelus. The redemption of Angelus/Angel serves to bring a tragic (in the theatrical sense of the term) twist to events - very much like the ending of Baz Luhrmann's Romeo + Juliet. All seasons have been a journey along some sort of path - for season two it's Buffy leaving the abusive relationship she has with Angelus by killing him; with season probably-six it's Willow essentially having an intervention brought about by Xander, and being able to admit she has a problem.
Of course, all this analysis doesn't show the full cloth of the emotional richness of these shows, but rather is a look at some of the underlying themes contained within.
In the disturbing Liam-is-a-psycho dream, I had a brilliant idea for a Wackiness comic script, but on waking could not remember it at all. I was most put out.
I was ridiculously emotional last night, then I was sick. Liam drove me home, as Nat did not trust me to drive. Probably shouldn't have posted about falling asleep at the wheel, as now friends will never trust me again. Liam gets on perfectly well with Daharja's cat, which is irritating. The little sod only barely tolerates my presence.
Am attempting to catch up on my friends list, but am fighting a losing battle. Have at least caught up on Neil's journal, am reading my way through the backlog of Nocturne Alley, and have started Draco Veritas 13, part one.
I slept very badly last night, mostly due to the damn cat, which decided that climbing on me and whining until I woke up every half hour was a good idea. Issy also phoned me, which means that it was merely busyness which curtailed our communication over the last while, rather than the oddness that precipitated at Issy's party.
First run with sound and lighting last night. The lighting changes are ridiculously easy. I only need to move two sliders each time, which control the dimming of the previous state and the bringing up of the next one. The sound was a little more difficult, as my initial symbol for two sound effects was similar enough that I stuffed up the latter of the two sound effects every time it was used. I was not impressed.
The sound and lighting at the end of each sequence also needs me to fade out one sound effect, bring up the ambient music, and cut the lights to black dramatically, all at the same time. This is far more difficult than you might imagine, as it involves me moving six sliders on two different boards, that I sit between. If I sit facing the sound board, the lighting board is directly behind me, and vice-versa, so I must sit between the two facing neither. My first attempt to move four sliders with my left hand (the fading of one sound effect and bringing up of the ambient music) and two sliders with my right (the cutting of the lights) was an astounding failure. I need to think on this further.
Blurgh. Still feel sick, although in an enormously better mood than last night... not that that's particularly difficult. I dissolved into tears on the front steps of the theatre building, never a good thing. Sam &c only made it worse by asking what the problem was. What I really needed was to just get away and cry myself out. I am glad that Nat bullied me into not going to work today, as I kept almost-throwing up. Sometimes I wish I could just vomit and get rid of the damn suspense.
Had an enormously disturbing dream where Liam went Heathcliff on me. I was quite unsettled. When I woke up, I spent some time pondering the dream (wherein my subconscious attributed myself with more alluring qualities than I actually possess, yet without relinquishing its hold on morbidity) and the end of season 2 Buffy, where Angelus is negatively transformed by love. Liam was far scarier, as he got all violent, and snapped Nat's and Cox's necks, but you couldn't see the old Liam underneath. At least with Angelus there was the hope for redemption.
It's always interesting to examine leitmotifs within Buffy that are often also metaphors for wider societal problems - Willow's addiction to magic, for example, was a more thinly-veiled allusion to drug addiction. Angelus' madness and obsession is allusive to both the stalker mentality, and also the idea of domestic abuse, I believe. Angelus was still in love with Buffy (if you can call it that), as Buffy was to Angel (the softer side of Angelus - in love with an older and idealised form of the person in front of her). Neither was willing to let go. Buffy couldn't leave the abusive relationship - as it translates into the Buffyverse, the killing of Angelus. By the end of the season, she is able to gain the strength of character to "leave" - ie by killing Angelus. The redemption of Angelus/Angel serves to bring a tragic (in the theatrical sense of the term) twist to events - very much like the ending of Baz Luhrmann's Romeo + Juliet. All seasons have been a journey along some sort of path - for season two it's Buffy leaving the abusive relationship she has with Angelus by killing him; with season probably-six it's Willow essentially having an intervention brought about by Xander, and being able to admit she has a problem.
Of course, all this analysis doesn't show the full cloth of the emotional richness of these shows, but rather is a look at some of the underlying themes contained within.
In the disturbing Liam-is-a-psycho dream, I had a brilliant idea for a Wackiness comic script, but on waking could not remember it at all. I was most put out.
