Back to the Sarah situation...

[changeling]

Well, as some of us know, I'm far more likely to get intoxicated in a "party atmosphere" than actually imbibing alcohol. The same it seems with Sarah, So, despite the conflicting messages I've been getting from her for the past...month? months? we kissed last night. Definitely a mutual thing.

*flashback*
Last Tuesday, I went back to Sarah's place as we often did. Mine was too far from the city - that's her excuse. However, the front room I usually sleep in was being used by her sister...something she'd forgotten. So we shared her bed. I woke early in the morning with Sarah spooned against me, holding me like her life depended on it...I didn't sleep well that morning.
*/flashback*

*She* suggested it...like I'd be game enough to make the first move. I sort of started it with "I think Justin thinks we're going out" and Sarah's response that we play on that a bit. Watch him suffer.

My heart's beating quickly just thinking about it.

But of course today the cold light of the afternoon makes everything more complicated. I'm terrified that this is going to go the way my relationship with Kelly went, and I'm left in the slipstream wondering what went wrong, what changed. It's painful when you want to kiss someone, tell them how much they mean to you, and they seem uninterested in so much as touching you.

Ngack. Work tomorrow. Then uni. And I'm terrified of seeing Sarah again.

And on top of all that, even if things were...different between us the way they were Saturday night, we have to worry about how it'll affect Liam, our best friend. Each of us would at least be grievously injured for him. And as much as we joked about shocking him, neither of us wants to hurt him. So if something has changed between us, we have to find a way of telling Liam.

*sigh* Even when I'm supposed to be happy I'm miserable and things are far too complicated.

Comments

[shinyandnat.livejournal.com]

*cuddles* ah sweety... complications like that suck. I've been in a similiar situation (kissing one's best friend, that is) and while we don't see much of each other anymore, that definately wasn't caused by a certain night last year.

I really can't imagine Sarah being strange about it.

Liam... well... once can never know what goes on in that boy's head... but I'm not sure if he'd be hurt by it.

All I can really do is wish you the best, and I may have to kill her if she hurts you *thinks about this* Not literally, of course.

*reads back over the message* yes, as usual, I suck. If I make any sense in this rambly comment, I'll be surprised.

[delirieuse.livejournal.com]

*hugs* you're such a sweetheart. :)